[Okay then! All right, everyone! I'm going to tell you the things you've been dying to know, the things you're not sure about... I'm going to tell you everything!]
*** ATTENTION ALL CIVILIANS! ***
The C-Blog Recaps comprise the world's source of strength. They bestow goodness and mercy upon all who bask in their radiance. They illuminate in times of toil and woe. And now, YOU too can join in the merry-making, by signing on as an authentic Recapper Reservist!
The team here at the Bunker is always aiming to improve its constitution, and this is where the role of the Reservist enters in. As an actual C-Blog Recap Reservist, you shall not only serve your brethren in hours of need, you'll be serving the greater Destructoid public in marvels far beyond compare.
The role of the Reservist is not to be understated. In volunteering to cover for the mainline roster, you'll be imbuing the refreshing breath of the wild card, the less-common (but no less visible) able rescuer who swoops in to abolish radio silence and save the day with a cavalier joust. The unrelenting grief of missed recaps shall be supplanted by your daring dash of happiness!
[Well, the reason everyone's happy is because it's your duty... Are you happy? It's your duty! Are you fulfilling it? We here at the Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee hope for and support the happiness of all.]
So what does living the life of a reservist entail? Simple: you volunteer to cover recap days our front seven need covered for any reason. Typically, as in more or less every single instance, a mainliner will inform the group beforehand, at least 24 hours prior. (Uninformed absences tend to get rolled into the following week's recap for that regular.) Virtually all reasons involve some fiendish Real Life intervention which prohibits our sturdy regulars from recapping their assigned day of the week that week. On average, reservist recap opportunities arise roughly twice to thrice per month, going by 2017's chronicled data. The more reservists who enlist, the less burden on any particular reservist to cover announced gaps.
This is not for the faint of wrist! Although recaps appear tidily breezy, they require a lucid mind and a fount of visual imagery, unless you're in a sour mood and you just drop off a lump of meh-text. Yet take heart. Our veteran team knows all the drills and imparts their knowledge onto you, free with every successful sign-on. Optimistically, the goal is to retain enough subs to ensure nobody feels the burn of overload, from the regulars to the reservists themselves. In strength, splendor multiplies.
[Are you happy? It's your duty! Are you fulfilling it?]
Now, you may have heard rumors about the misquoted quality of residential conditions within the abundance of mercy and serenity that is the Reservist Shed. Propaganda, doublespeak, paparazzi, and gobbledygook leak out into the gullible world all the time, dutiful readers. Those Who Rule In Majesty would like to assuage doubts and misgivings by reminding our eager volunteers of our following generous benefits package.
[Okay then! All right, everyone! Aren't you all just brimming with happiness? Not a hint of anxiety or discontent, right? Scary...so scary... We're so happy, it's scary!]
*** WE WANT YOU! ***
幸福なのは義務なんです 幸福なのは義務なんです 幸福なのは義務なんです 幸せですか？ 義務ですよ？
{The preceding comprised paid programming by the Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee. All rights reserved. Except those of reservists. Reservists receive no rights.}
The recap team *is* sincerely looking to accept reservist volunteers; any interested souls should speak up in the comments or otherwise message the CBlogRecaps account. Thank you muchly. - Larx Fulten
